Honestly, not eating isn’t the hard part for me. It’s the waiting. Every moment of the day I just want it to be over: so I can go to sleep, wake up, and get back on the scale, so it can tell me I’m one step closer.
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Back To School Reverse Thinspo
It’s already the day that classes start again. You wanted to lose so much weight over summer, and you made some progress but not nearly enough. Once again, you told yourself you wanted to lose weight and 3 months later you’re still fat. Just wasting away.
You step on the scale after peeing and taking off your clothes. The number is so far from what you wanted. So fucking far. Each calorie you didn’t burn. Each temptation that you gave in to. Every binge and offer of food you didn’t say no to is right there in front of you. You can pinch it on your stomach. your thighs. your face. That’s where all those calories went.
You put on a pair of boring old jeans from last year, and they’re not loose at all. A little tight even. They push your pudgy stomach up into a muffin top overflowing the edges like a busted can of biscuits. You look like you’re about to burst. You cover it up with a sweatshirt that makes you look like a balloon. All summer you daydreamed of wearing something cute. You wanted a skinny frame that needed a new wardrobe. You wanted to pull off any outfit. But now you’re still fat, and nothing can hide that. You look like a lazy glutton because that’s what you are.
You walk through the halls and feel your fat thighs rube together. No one’s head turns to see your tiny waist or your collarbones or wrists. you see your skinny friends and start talking to them. One girl is wearing a pretty skirt and flowy top, draping her elegant body. Another has beautiful cheekbones and wears a baggy sweatshirt that wouldn’t have fit you. That could’ve been you, but it’s not.
They say hi to you and you start walking along. As they get glances you just feel embarrassed. They talk to each other as you trail behind them, trying to catch up. Their skinny legs walk elegantly and quickly while you stomp along, feeling the fat shake and move and shift. They honestly couldn’t care if you were there or not. If anything, they wouldn’t want to be around a fat ass like you. Maybe if you were thin they’d give you some attention, but you’re not.
And now you get to spend another year in that fat body. More time in all of this fat. Drowning in it. Ruining all those daydreams.
But if you haven’t started school yet, you still have time. If you don’t fucking get your act together then this will happen. So just do it. You will be so thankful that you did.
It feels so good drinking tea while everyone else eats. You have willpower. You are strong. You are skinny.
✨🎀✨
Having an ed and zero impulse control is the biggest design flaw ever
